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The Golden Rule Applies to Me!?

Writer's picture: Miranda MerrellMiranda Merrell

By Miranda Merrell on 10/13/2024


Miranda, founded a music and performance business as an adolescent. Now, despite a late diagnosis of ADHD, PTSD, and giftedness, she thrives as she advocates for the gifted community globally, spreading joy and compassion authentically. Miranda's journey showcases the transformative power of perseverance and her commitment to inclusivity.



The Golden Rule Applies to Me!?


After discovering and accepting my giftedness—along with a side order of other exceptionalities—it felt like a huge leap to realize my needs might look different from the norm. It’s only recently that I’ve started to accept that my basic needs are legitimate: sleep, downtime, fun, eating, guilt-free coping, adult conversation, verbal processing, mirroring, complexity, creative outlets, and so on. One of the biggest for me is nurturing my passion for showing love and kindness to those around me.

 

Then came a slightly embarrassing-that-it-took-me-so-long epiphany. The Golden Rule, having been repeated throughout my childhood, “Treat others the way you want to be treated," never quite worked for me because the way I want to be treated is so different from what’s typical. So, I unconsciously rewrote it to mean, “Treat people the way they want to be treated." And while that has its useful time and place, when taken too far, it allowed people to take advantage of me as I people-pleased my way through life.

 

Cue the “aha" moment: What if I applied the Golden Rule to myself—started treating me the way I want to be treated? Suddenly, everything clicked. Maybe this is how I can find balance between constantly offering compassion and help to others without burning out. By including myself in the equation, I automatically prevent overextending myself to the point of harm. My boundary line became so clear. I can continue being aware of how others want to be treated and treat them accordingly while making sure in doing so I’m being kind to myself too.

 

In a culture where self-care and prioritizing your needs are often seen as selfish, it’s hard to change this mindset. Rewording a “rule” I’d heard on repeat my entire life helped me make sense of this shift in thinking. And I’m comforted to realize that one of my core needs is to be kind to others. I think this helps prevent me from pendulum swinging to the extreme opposite, Self-Centered-Ville.

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